“I’m not going to be silent.”

Via Jezebel, Terry Crews, “On the importance of men supporting the feminist cause:

I kind of relate it to slavery. Or even civil rights. Let’s not even go back to slavery, let’s go to civil rights—the people who were silent at the lunch counters, when it was the black lunch counter and the white one or the schools were segregated…and you were quiet. You were accepting it. Same thing with men right now. If you don’t say anything, you are, by your silence—it’s acceptance. I’m not going to be silent.”

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Tell Your Story, On Your Own Terms

“‘We can also go a long way toward preventing male sexual and domestic violence against women by stopping the pervasive and pernicious victim-blaming,‘ Douglas says. ‘The media, for example, should quit asking the toxic, ‘Why did you go back to your abuser?’ and ‘Why didn’t you leave?’ A reporter could say instead, ‘As you know, there are some who question your credibility because of some of the choices you made. What, if anything, would you want to say to them?’ That is respectful journalism. The [accuser] should never be made to feel like she has to justify the choices she made or makes.

Finally, in his own work with Men Stopping Violence, Douglas sees firsthand the power of healing through sharing. ‘I see survivors who are finding peace through coming forward and telling their stories. One of the most powerful things that survivors can do is tell their own stories, on their own terms,‘ he says.”

:NOMORE.org, Why They Weren’t Believed

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The Only Predictor of Being a Victim of DV: Being Female

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Credit: The Compiler, Illinois Criminal Justice Information Authority, Winter/Spring 2008

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Your Response to DV Matters

“Men who batter their wives or girlfriends generally are not seen as abusive individuals by those outside the family. Usually, the batterer maintains a public image as a friendly and caring individual who is a devoted family man. Over time, the batterer destroys the victim’s friendships and family ties so that the victim is isolated. Because most people feel uncomfortable around the abuse, those aware of it avoid contact with the victim. Others avoid contact with the victim because they do not want to admit that the violence occurs. This isolation leaves the victim psychologically dependent on the batterer. The victim fears retaliation by the batterer for calling the police, going to court, or leaving. Most battered women are aware that the police are unresponsive to their calls for help. Prior lack of effective intervention by friends, the police, and the courts leads the victim to believe that no one will treat the abuse seriously.”

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8 Ways to ID a Battering Husband

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A concise read on the characteristics of domestic abusers and why and how Domestic Violence is both actively and passively suppressed, this article in the New Hampshire Bar Association Journal lists 8 ways to identify “Assaultive Husbands.”

1 – Discrepency in public versus private behavior

2 – Minimization and denial

3 – Blaming others

4 – Controlling behaviors

5 – Jealousy and possessiveness

6 – Manipulation of children

7 – Substance abuse

8 – Resistance to change

:LH

 

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Will the NFL Go Purple?

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I guess the NFL said “I want to stay out of it” this year. Weird. Wonder what the problem was? :LH

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Sexism & Role Reversal: A Short Film

Oppressed Majority via Brain Pickings:

And in case you still somehow believe that’s exaggerated: This. :LH

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DV Victims As Blow Up Dolls?

Some guy dressed up like Ray Rice for Halloween, dragging his “wife” prop along with him. No. Words. :LH

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Fox & Friends: Abusers, Take The Stairs & Avoid Those Cameras, Buddy

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Ray Rice Finally Fired, Suspended

Here’s video of the punch, which we didn’t need to see in order to have probable cause that an assault & battery (possibly worse — that is, is a large man’s fist a lethal weapon?) occurred:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JD0Hw4VYhc&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9JD0Hw4VYhc&has_verified=1

And here’s WaPo coverage, including Fox News laughing it up, suggesting “take the elevator,” abusers.

 

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I No Longer Have Patience

“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” —Meryl Streep

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The Sun Will Shine On Those Who Stand

Our elders say that the sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel under them.
– Unoko in Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe

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